“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)”
When it comes to relationships, I hate you; at least when compared to my relationship with the Lord. He takes first place and when a choice has to be made between him or anyone else, then I choose him and his will in my life.
Don’t take me wrong, I love the people in my life; but no one is more important to me than the Lord and I will do my best to show it and not compromise in my relationship with the Lord. However, I’m not always successful in making the right choices, although I do try.
“But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. (1Cor. 7:28)”
The apostle Paul, when speaking about someone who wishes to marry; he does say that in doing so, that they will have trouble in the flesh. (He doesn’t go into any details as to what these troubles are, nor just what troubles God will allow, before it becomes sin).
There is a sharing of your heart and time that has to take place between the Lord and one’s spouse (or within any type of relationship); sometimes knowing how to divide yourself between these two relationships isn’t always easy and disappointment is almost a certainty.
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
In God’s scheme of things it appears that man needs help to accomplish or help to stay on track with God’s will. (Not only the man, also the woman). This is what a help-meet is: Someone who will surround and protect or even save the other person from attack or failure, so the other can stay on course and accomplish the task at hand.
There is nothing within the term “help-meet”, that suggests weakness or something inferior; rather it suggests someone who is equal, but different. Equal also in desire, to see the other person be all they can be, so together they can see God’s will or purpose completed. This is God’s purpose or definition of a help-meet.
A biblical marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman; where each commits themselves to one another and each is a help-meet to one another. Anything less than this is not a true marriage, but instead it would be just two people living together in a sexually relationship.
Unfortunately, in most relationships, each person seems more interested in promoting themselves, rather than helping others get promoted. This is why fornication, adultery, homosexuality and lesbianism is outside of the idea of what a help-meet is; because to allow someone to violate God’s will or to be a part in helping them to violate God’s will, isn’t what a help-meet is or called to be and not what God calls a marriage.
Love for God, should cause you to back away from (or hate) anything or anyone who tries to cause you or who would encourage others to prevent you from following after God’s best for you and your relationship with the Lord.
I have seen many ministries fall short, because of husbands and wives not being on the same page with one another, when it comes to the call of God on their lives. Look at Adam and Eve; Eve was not acting like a help-meet when she allowed the serpent to deceive her and turn against the will of God; and then turned around and got Adam to partake with her in her sin. Adam too is to blame, for not taking his authority and stopping the lies of the serpent coming against his wife and the known will of God; no, he stood by and allowed it to happen. (Neither one played the part of a protector, instead each played a part in helping the other to fail.)
And, just like Adam; many men are failing to protect their wives against the wiles of the serpent, for fear of losing their wives, if they speak or act against it. So instead of using their authority to stay on course with God’s will, they compromise and their ministry starts to fall short.
Some husbands and wives use manipulation; rather than guard and protect one another, one or both manipulates the other to take advantage of the other persons love for them, causing the other to compromise their integrity or position with the Lord.
Whenever there is a relationship of any kind, there is the possibility that someone will feel that their desires are more important than you following God’s will. This is why Jesus says we are to hate those around us if we are going to be his disciple, not to be mean; but rather not to be compromising in our relationship when it comes to the will of God.
“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? (Mark 8:35-36)”
Even to the person who looks back at me in the mirror, I have to say, “Nope, I can’t go in that direction. No matter what I think about it or how it may make me feel.”
It’s important to have a healthy self-love or self-worth; however scripturally, the problem isn’t a lack of self-love. Rather, the Bible points out, that we tend to love ourselves too much; which then leads us into self-destruction.
This physical body of ours has many natural desires; the pleasures of eating, drinking, sex just to name a few. There are also the emotional desires of wanting to love and be loved. It’s said,”You only go around in life once”; which is true, but there are also no “do overs” when this life is over.
There are some desires that are better left alone or not fulfilled, just because it seems right or feels right to you, that doesn’t make it right or acceptable to God. Once something is done, it can’t be undone and some consequences are too severe or very hard to recover from. Nothing nor no one is worth the loss of your own soul over it.
I will do my best to show my love and support to any and all who are close to me, but there are some places I can’t go and things I can’t do or accept. Therefore, don’t ask me to disobey the Lord in someway to prove that I love you; because you’re going to hear me say, “I can’t, because I hate you when it comes to my love and obedience towards the Lord.”